Why we dream weird :)

See more of Beatrice the biologist at http://www.beatricebiologist.com/ :)

or this post at http://www.beatricebiologist.com/2014/09/anxiety-dreams.html :)

'You are what you eat'

God tells Napoleon...

In a psychiatrist's waiting room two patients are having a conversation. One says to the other, "Why are you here?"
The second answers, "I'm Napoleon, so the doctor told me to come here."
The first is curious and asks, "How do you know that you're Napoleon?"
The second responds, "God told me I was."
At this point, a patient on the other side of the room shouts, "NO I DIDN'T!"

Who Has the Biggest Brain?

Here is a cute and addictive game that challenges your logic, memory, visual and your mathematic abilities.

Of course, this is not scientific and the score you get is arbitrary. However, even though it is just for fun, some of the games are variants of some valid neuropsychological tests I've encountered.

List of biggest brains:

You can try to guess which brain is from what animal on this website: Neuroscience for Kids - Brain Comparisons

Brain and Body Sizes

Evolution & the Brain

List of biggest brains proportional to the body:

Sources:

http://www.playfish.com/?page=game_braingame

http://faculty.washington.edu/chudler/compare2.html

http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/bb/kinser/Size1.html

Is Anyone There?

A man phones a mental hospital and asks the receptionist if there is anybody in Room 27.

She goes and checks, and comes back to the phone, telling him that the room is empty.

“Good,” says the man. “That means I must have really escaped.”

Ch!ldhood

Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for a man then for a women?
Because when it’s time to go back to childhood, a man is already there.

CrAzY

A psychiatrist says to his secretary: "Just say we're very busy. Stop saying 'It's a madhouse!'"

Therap!st...

Doctor!!

Patient: Doctor, doctor, I can't concentrate, one minute I'm ok, and the next minute, I'm blank!

Doctor: And how long have you had this complaint?

Patient: What complaint?

Every Researcher's Wish

A Ph.D. student, a post-doc, and a professor are walking through a city park and they find and antique oil lamp. They rub it and a genie comes out in a puff of smoke.
The genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one."
"Me first! Me first!" says the Ph.D. student. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat with a gorgeous woman in a bikini." Poof! He's gone.
"Me next! Me next!" says the post-doc. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with a professional hula dancer on one side and a Mai Tai on the other." Poof! He's gone.
"You're next," the genie says to the professor. The professor says, "I want those guys back in the lab after lunch."

Ctrl-Alt-Delete!

Thirteen + one...

A guy is walking past a high, solid wooden fence at the insane asylum and he hears all the residents inside chanting, “Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!"

He continues walking along the long fence, but, being a curious person, he can’t help but wonder why they are chanting “Thirteen!” over and over. Could it be that they are chugging beer? Are they perhaps taking turns beating one of the inmates? Maybe they are counting the number of patients that have leapt off of the roof thus far.

His curiosity peaks and he frantically searches for a hole in the fence so that he may see what is going on. Finally, he spots one a few feet ahead. The hole is low in the fence and he has to kneel down to peer inside.

He moves into position and peeks into the hole. As he looks in, someone inside pokes him in the eye! Then everyone inside the asylum starts chanting, “Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!”

Psych!atr!st

"I see you were last employed by a psychiatrist," said the employer to the applicant. "Why did you leave?"

"Well," she replied, "I just couldn't win. If I was late to work, I was hostile. If I was early, I had an anxiety complex. If I was on time, I was compulsive."

L!ght BulB

Q: How many Psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Only one, but the light bulb has to want to change.

Ch!cKeN HaLluCiNaT!ons

Happiness is in Simplicity

I really like this talk by the the comedian Louis CK as it is sharply true!

I am Santa! Duh!

Christmas Carols for the Psychologically Deranged:

1) Schizophrenia - Do You Hear What I Hear, the Voices, the Voices?

2) Amnesia - I Don't Remember If I'll be Home for Christmas

3) Narcissistic - Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

4) Manic - Deck The Halls And Walls And House And Lawn And Streets And Stores And 

Office And Town And Cars And Buses And Trucks And Trees And Fire Hydrants And...........

5) Multiple Personality Disorder - We Three Queens Disoriented Are

6) Paranoid - Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Us

7) Borderline Personality Disorder - You Better Watch Out, You Better not Shout, I'm Gonna Cry, and I'll not Tellin' You Why

8) Full Personality Disorder - Thoughts of Roasting You On an Open Fire

9) Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells...

10) Agoraphobia - I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn't Leave My House

Side note advice <3

Random tip to all the women out there who ask for advice when a long-distance-guy doesn’t answer their email.

Ladies,

Here are the possibilities to explain this phenomenon in increasing order of probability:

either you wrote the wrong email, 
your email is in his junk mail, 
he doesn't know what to answer, 
he decided not to answer, 
he didn't think you would write that soon, 
he doesn’t know how to type, 
he doesn’t have internet, 
he is an alien, 
he is gay, 
he is pretty, 
he doesn’t deserve you, 
he pretends he’s rich, 
he doesn’t tan, 
his house burned down, 
he has aphasia, 
he is drunk, no, 
he is not drunk, 
he can type when drunk, 
he has a headache now, 
he has dissociative amnesia,  
he is studying, 
he is a girl, 
he is further than you thought, 
he doesn’t understand English or French, 
he is scared of you, 
he forgot your name, 
he truly believes in the bug of 2010,  
he is shy, 
he is stupid, 
find yourself a Montrealer (i.e. local)!

PS: If none of these explanations are satisfactory, check your junk mail.

What shall we do with the paranoid schizophrenic early in the morning

This is a video that attempts to illustrates the problem with finding proper, ethical and successful treatment for schizophrenics. It focuses on paranoid schizophrenia which is a subtype of schizophrenia characterized by delusions (often of grandeur or persecution), phobias, hallucinations and anxiety.

BEWARE!: This video uses an extreme form of sarcasm!

Ask your Doctor...

BEWARE!: What you are about to see and read are NOT tips for a healthy physical and psychological state. Sarcasm is heavily in use.
Tip Number Ein:

Tip Number Zwai:
Lay back and concentrate your pretty green eyes on this picture and the facts on the cause of your failures in life will suddenly appear. An Aha!-moment might follow.

Have a nice day ;)