Side note advice <3

Random tip to all the women out there who ask for advice when a long-distance-guy doesn’t answer their email.

Ladies,

Here are the possibilities to explain this phenomenon in increasing order of probability:

either you wrote the wrong email, 
your email is in his junk mail, 
he doesn't know what to answer, 
he decided not to answer, 
he didn't think you would write that soon, 
he doesn’t know how to type, 
he doesn’t have internet, 
he is an alien, 
he is gay, 
he is pretty, 
he doesn’t deserve you, 
he pretends he’s rich, 
he doesn’t tan, 
his house burned down, 
he has aphasia, 
he is drunk, no, 
he is not drunk, 
he can type when drunk, 
he has a headache now, 
he has dissociative amnesia,  
he is studying, 
he is a girl, 
he is further than you thought, 
he doesn’t understand English or French, 
he is scared of you, 
he forgot your name, 
he truly believes in the bug of 2010,  
he is shy, 
he is stupid, 
find yourself a Montrealer (i.e. local)!

PS: If none of these explanations are satisfactory, check your junk mail.